Why is it we cry?
Broken hearted emptied soul
Tear-wet cheeks, eyes dry.
Why is it we cry?
Broken hearted emptied soul
Tear-wet cheeks, eyes dry.
Just came across this little piece which describes the writing anxiety that has constantly been on my mind; even more so since I started blogging and my writing became public.
” When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I chose it to mean – neither more nor less.”
“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master – that’s all.”
– Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There
It’s quite a steep learning curve, but I definitely am seeing language in a different light. Hopefully, my effort will pay off and I will improve. Anyone facing similar issues????
I began this new year with a chaotic, overflowing schedule; which by no means I was going to be able to keep up with. You ask the reason why? I have been invited to a friend’s grand wedding in the sun (obviously – I am a big deal you see). This meant that I would be flying across half the world in the last week of the very first month of the year!! A holiday tailing another – I’m on a roll! Anyway, whilst I was busy rolling, I also had a mountain of work to finish and loads of deadlines to get through before I could unplug myself from the ever-so-permanently-leaching-my-life-force of a menace called a job/work/whatever you do to survive.
By burning the midnight oil, I was able to get through most of the deadlines, the rest I decided could either wait or my boss could finish them herself if she ran out of patience (a scenario which exists only in my dreams). However, this was one of the few times where I constantly kept feeling as if I was missing something. This led my OCD driven self to make several lists and lists of lists of things to finish. These so called “lists” got so long that by the time the day if my departure arrived, I was severely sleep deprived, haggard, edging towards albinism, high-on-adrenaline maniac (okay maybe the albinism is an exaggeration – but you get the point).
Only the thought of frolicking in the sun kept me on my feet. I had it all planned – I will push myself till I am on my night flight and then collapse the moment my bum touches the seat – ten hours of blissful dreaming. But fate had decided to play the devil and ruin all my severely scrutinised plans! I left my house early, reached the airport – on time, only to find out that my flight had been CANCELLED! Just like that! No text, no email update, no phone call – I had travelled three hours for nothing! Determined not to give up, I grabbed a replacement option of the first flight out with both my hands whilst the airlines tried to arrange accommodation for the night. I checked in all my bags with the airline and thinking I had it all sorted, clambered on to the coach looking forward to a good nights sleep.
But when do I ever do things the straight way? While on the coach, the crazy wheels in my head began churning and I started to analyse the new situation; that’s when things got worse! I realised that my new schedule meant I would be spending another whole night at an airport to catch my connecting flight! I was appalled, I had a WEDDING to attend – I would be missing a part of it this way! The SUN was awaiting my presence. I could not wait any longer! As soon as I reached the Inn, I contacted the reception and tried to get in touch with airlines to assess my other options. But all my efforts were in vain, for no one would answer the damned phone. Frustrated, I decided to go back to the airport before the office closed and confront them in person.
Luckily I managed to get a shuttle bus to the airport and I rushed out of the bus, rushing up the stairs like the wind. Out of breath, I barely managed to reach the counter and pant out my issues when the bespectacled lady draped her coat, looked sharply and informed me “I’m sorry, we just closed… You will have to wait till morning to get your bags if you want to cancel your travel. ”
“No…no…please…something must be done…” I begged and pleaded, but to no avail. This basically meant taking another airline was out of the option as I would reach even later than my current twelve hour delayed flight. Resigned to fate, I trudged back toward the coach information desk. That’s when I realised – in my hurry, I had forgotten to pick up the address of the Inn where the airline had stationed us and much to my luck, there were only four inns with the same name around the airport! Now I was stuck in the freezing cold, clad in only a summer jacket and I didn’t know which bus to take! After talking to two of the four bus drivers, I managed to ascertain with a certain degree of confidence that it was the third bus that I needed to take. So at 9.45 pm I decided to take the plunge and got on what I thought was the right bus. Luckily for me there was another lost soul who boarded the same bus and was supposed to take the same flight as me.
The bus passed the different stops and with each passing stop my heart beat just a little faster, what if this wasn’t the right bus? I didn’t want to go back out in the cold, I was already tired and my adrenaline was wearing off. Thankfully though, the stop before the last was the correct one. With the spring back in my step, I hurried to the check-in desk grabbed my room keys – just in time for dinner. Hurriedly, I gulped half chewed pieces of food down my throat, washing them down with queer tasting orange juice. With my grumbling stomach now silenced, I headed to my room; plopped on my bed and fell into a disturbed sleep haunted by dreams of me missing my flight. When my alarm finally rang after four hours, I stretched into reality, glad for the short yet much reliving break from the rush.
All in all, I managed to get on my flight on time, get a part of the sleep that I had planned, despite it being the wrong time of the day. Landing at the airport, I felt a bit braver, more confident of my connecting flight and despite the long wait ahead my spirits were uplifted thinking of what lay at the end of the journey. Snaking through the airport immigration, customs and all the elaborate security measures, I reach the next terminal only to find out the even my connecting flight has been delayed!!!! This meant that I had to spend an additional seven hours at the airport in the night, making it a grand total of 36 hours of being on the move!
So, now as I sit gazing at a larger than life banner of Samsung Galaxy Note Edge driving me “off the edge”, I am thinking -“I am quite sure I have read somewhere that travelling is important; it reminds you of the value of those everyday things that you tend to take for granted” – I, surprisingly, am missing my heavily warm, claustrophobic but short daily trips in the tube and the feel of my cappuccino splashing against the warmed recycled cup of restraint. Hmmm.. back to gazing at random strangers now.
This year was the first time in my life when I actually experienced a laid back NYE. To be honest, I wasn’t pleased with the idea at all but when the time came, I realised that I did quite enjoy spending quality time with people who really matter.
Next morning, while still revelling in the fluffy feeling, I made the mistake of opening my Facebook page. In an instant my computer screen was flooded with posts of people celebrating amidst random strangers, wishing 2014 goodbye as if it was a dearly loved friend and posting up their resolutions/expectations for the coming new year.
All this barrage of unwanted information got me thinking, is new year really that big a deal?? I mean if you want to party, do you really need a reason such as a new year? Or do you really need to wait till the beginning of a new year to decide a new model-self that you resolve to be (only to break it two days later!). Is the new year really a new beginning? Why should our lives be ruled by the calendars – that’s not what they were invented for surely? Something tells me that there might be a conspiracy underlying this occurrence. But who is behind these ever growing new hypes about everything we seen in these consumer based economies? What could be the motive? World domination ?
Is this year really a happy new year??
What do you think??
Well the other day, I finally faced the long awaited moment – the release of that single trailer, the sole driving force of my existence: The Jurassic World trailer. With the glimpse of a sole dinosaur, I was transported back to the realms of my own Jurassic cosmos walking amongst the magnificent beasts!
Suddenly with the clap of thunder the sky darkened, shadows of terror cast upon the landscape and the puddled waters rippled… Reality slapped back but the terror still lingered. Trying to shake off the chills running down my spine, my thoughts were drawn towards the horrors of real life – if you just think about it, man on his own is a very vulnerable creature – fragile enough for a tiger to snap his neck, soft enough to be squashed by an elephant, crumbly enough to be chewed by a crocodile. Heck, even a mere docile cow is capable of killing us! *shivers* But humans still survive, our lack of physical prowess over come by the sheer power of our brains. We’ve developed artificial defences- our journey evolving from spears to knives, swords, guns, tanks, battleships and eventually fighter-planes. “Natural selection!” pipe up the Darwinians, “…it’s the survival of the fittest at play here.” continue the modern day Herbert Spencers.
Indeed they are probably right, we -humans – are shrewd calculating species capable of manipulating the world around us according to our whims. And when we don’t get things our way, we turn into devilish monsters playing god. One man gets killed by a tiger, we turn them into a game, poaching every single one of them till we wipe their species off the face of this planet. A person gets bitten by a shark, we make it our mission to haphazardly murder ever single fish with teeth. Hell, we don’t even spare our fellow specieans (I know that’s not a word but – you get what I’m feeling). To get money, power or control – to be able play god we indiscriminately butcher other human beings – that scares me even more. We are probably really the most dangerous group on the planet – a danger even to our own existence.
Tell me though, does the survival of the fittest really hold true in this case? Think about it, any one armed with a lethal weapon in that particular situation can be deemed fit but does that really fit the bigger picture? Think about it, if someone of bright intellect but below average physical competencies is cornered at gun point by a big beefy guy with slightly below average IQ. Unless the cornered person is exceptionally brilliant, there is little chance he will escape, most likely he will be killed trying to escape. Now imagine this on a global scale and all the brainiacs were to be wiped off the face off the earth – the progress of humanity will be stalled. The abyss would deepen with the genetic selection of physical prowess at the cost of lower intellect. On top of this, if we were to continue our world damaging lifestyles at the current rate, eventually we will be extinct.
However on the other hand if it was only the prodigies which were to survive, there would be some chance of us surviving. Humans would develop technology further and our brains would evolve towards increased reasoning. But come some mutant all powerful virus and we’ll be exterminated due to our weakened physical attributes. Come to think of it in order for the survival of the fittest theory to apply, we need all sorts of mixed genetic disposition to progress further ! But will all that evolution lead eventually us to world with a genetically superior species capable of making the humans vanish from the earth???? Or will it just lead us back to the dinosaurs once again??
In response to:
Halloween special!! My first attempt at some serious fiction, I hope you enjoy it!
The smell of the damp night laden with malice stung her nostrils.
She found herself crouching on the asphalt of a dark alley surrounded by skyscrapers with eerily gouged windows. Before her mind could comprehend the fix she was plunged in, a terrifying unearthly scream iced the night air. Peering out from the corner of her adrumbal haven, like a hypnotised prey she stared, transfixed by the spectacle unravelling beneath the lamp post. On the ground lay a mangled form- now motionless, soulless in a nebulous pool of death. Unbelieving, wrinkled wide eyes stared blank with fear and mouth open was frozen mid scream; the horrific expression of the petrified face in the ground sent chills down her spine while the ferrous stench of blood, mingled with the curse of ungratified savages and burned inside her making her tremble.
Rising above the corpse, like a haunting melody, stood a towering silhouette; a formidable presence against the pitch melancholy of the night enfolding a lethal blade dripping lifeblood. Licking the last silvery drops of the shimmering soul off her blood-red lips she contemptously murmured, ” It would have been a lot easier for you if you had just agreed to give me your youth. Now you are too many pieces of far too old.” The juvenescent vixen threw her long dark haired head back and laughed maniacally; the resounding cackle heard by those six feet under. A gash across her tilted right cheek, the only corporeal feature against the marble of her skin, was illuminated under the light.
Without warning she stopped and abruptly spun around – the baleful lance clutched close to her bosom as the bright green eyes pierced into the darkness of the shadows. She sniffed the air like a hunting wolf while her eyes, fixed at the alley, blazed with predatory ravenousness, ready to strike its prey. “Aha, who have we here, another prize! Come out of the darkness darling.” She hissed, her voice letting escape the baseness of her soul. With a loud metallic clank of her heel, echoing against the deafening silence of the murk, she took a step towards the alley.
Back in the shadows, she stumbled back, moving closer to the heart of the murk, trying to make herself unseen. Terror filled her mind and fearful tears streamed down her cheeks while she scurried to get away from the advancing threat. Out of no where she found her back pushing against a wall- surrounded. No! she pounded with her fists against the wall, she was too young to die. No, not like this – it was far too soon. She didnt ask for this!! With her heart throbbing in her ears she tried to erode the walls with her hands. She whimpered in pain as her fingers bled and knees grazed, but she continued scraping in vain at the unrelenting fortification trying to find escape. The long black shadow of the medusa advanced, engulfing her little crouched form with its cold. She turned around, her lower lip quivering with fear. “Please- no, please … I beg you.. Please..” The words failed to leave her mouth and her throat dried as she gaped, her mouth hanging half open, as the face of the peril came into view. The moment her terrified gaze locked with the emerald stare, she found herself being violently sucked into a swift endless void.
Suddenly a shriek pierced her ears and she jerked up from the darkness in pain shielding her ears from her own voice. Blinded by the light and drenched in sweat, she shivered vigorously from the cold. She felt as if someone had plunged her head in the dreary depths of ice water refusing to let go. Breathlessly, she looked around at the covers, grasping and clutching – white knuckled- the irresolute feathery downs to affirm the resoluteness of reality. As her palms caressed the surface of the softness, relief doused over her fear parched mind. “Thank god, it was only a dream!” She whispered, her eyes filled with tears of joy at the extrication of the gloom.
Groggily pulling herself out of the warmth, she flinched as the cold sting of stone against her foot rang in her ears. Catching hold of the bedpost, she steadied herself. Once on her feet, she grabbed the vaporous fabric of her silk robe she hugged herself tighter, a flailing attempt at retaining the quickly dissipating warmth, and walked towards the bathroom. As she leaned over the sink- slowly raising her head- she scrutinised her own reflection in the mirror that stared back at her through emerald eyes with the familiar murderous, hunting look, the red lips curving into a malicious smile.
She flung back her long dark hair, her beautiful face marred by a scar, and laughed…..
Daily prompt :
Imagine we lived in a world that’s all of a sudden devoid of color, but where you’re given the option to have just one object keep its original hue. Which object (and which color) would that be?
Wearing large, dark sunglasses that covered half her face in the summer night, Lisa cautiously pattered across the road; her ever-searching cane scanning her path for potential obstacles. She nearly jumped as someone hurriedly brushed past her from the back. Being blind in a sighted albeit unseeing world was difficult at times. But she wasn’t complaining, there were many a times when the world around her had shown gentle warmth, its love and capacity for compassion. There were times when she had wanted to cross the road – that was probably the most difficult thing to do, and almost every time there was someone who would stop by and offer to help her out. No, it wasn’t the hardship of being blind that pulled her down, in fact she saw it as a challenge – one that she was well on her way to conquering!
She worked hard and was able to manage her way around her flat without a cane – anyone who saw her there, would never believe her lack of sight! But her lack of sight want all bane. It was because of her sightlessness that her sense of taste had heightened, and boy could she cook! She was so adept at art that one of the best restaurants in town had recently offered her a job in their kitchen (they also did their bit to make it hand-friendly for her)! Despite all these achievements, she always wished she could have a dog. Although, she could navigate the streets and the universe was generously kind, she wanted to be independent. That’s how she had always been and the fact that she had to constantly depend on others was what nagged her the most.
Maybe, with the new job I can get myself some lovable company, she thought. As she had just finished the thought, she found herself at yet another traffic-light. As she waited for the lights to change, she felt a stray drop of wetness hit her face.
Rain! At this time? She mused. Without warning she was covered in a heart warming drizzle. As the smell of the wet earth rose against the dissipating summer heat , she felt a happy swell in her chest – she wanted to dance. Slowly and gently , filled with the joy of living, her feet tapped to the rhythmic music of the pitter-patter.
“Help!” Someone screamed , ” this rain is washing away the colour from the world !!” Chaos ensued. People screaming, tripping, scrambled for cover as the showering waves became stronger. But Lisa, unfaltering, continued to dance to the rhythm of nature’s music – for the colours were all in her mind!
I drag myself home, exhaused after a long, ceaseless, unfruitful day. I barely manage to stagger through the door and plopped on to the sofa drinking in the calmness of my rarely empty house. As the cushions deflated and the air squeezed out painfully through the seams under my couch-potatoness, I flipped open my laptop – my sole means of company (and light) at this dark hour. Browsing throught the internet, I stumble across today daily prompt page and begin to read.
Many of us had imaginary friends as young children. If your imaginary friend grew up alongside you, what would his/her/its life be like today? (Didn’t have one? write about a non-imaginary friend you haven’t seen since childhood.)
“Me, me !! It’s talking about me you moron! “ it piped up.
“What the hell are you thinking about looking at the computer screen like a slow Loris? Hurry up, why is it taking so long for you to make up your mind?”
“What are you searching for now? There’s nothing under the sofa and no there is no one in the closet either… All rooms are empty you dimwit, what are you scared of ? It’s only me !! Stop jumping around, there is no one behind your back tailing you. STOP you moron! Listen to me will you? Stop getting scared and running around the house like a rabid dog! Look what you are doing now, making us sweat. Ouch!! Why did you bump the foot in the wall?? What the hell are you looking at with that part-muddled, part-horrified look? GAH!!! You are making both of us look stupid. I guess I’ll come back when you are asleep.”
Suddenly all goes silent as I tiptoe to the bathroom door holding my breath and barge in screaming “I KNOW it’s YOU ! COME OUT NOW!! Enough jokes!!” – sheer emptiness..
“Aaaaaaa” I shriek and jump around – just the wall staring back under the pale yellow light. I scream, “Who are you? Come out this very moment!”. I pull my hair like a loon, unable to think clearly. The bodiless, mocking voice causing terrorising anarchy in my head.
HAHAHA!! HAHAHAHA !!! “You doofus.” HAHAHA !!!
I shriek again, paranoid, ” Who are you? Stop playing games!!”.
“You are a serious moron sometimes, a dork dorky dork, a dunce, a BLOCKHEAD !!!”
Manically annoyed I yell, ” STOP THAT !!! I am NOT a MORON!! YOU are a MORON!!! Who the hell are you !!! ”
HAHAHA… ” Moron wants to know who I am, dimwit is shrieking with curiosity. Moron – I am the reason why you are never alone, the one who is forced to hide in the shadows during the day. Only at night, when you sleep can I creep out to my intimidating fullness – I am the one who gives you all “awesome” the thoughts in your head, the crux of why you do what you do. I am the reason why you’re even replying to the daily prompt right now, despite being shit scared – I am the puppeteer and you are my puppet !! I am the reason why you’ll never again sleep with the lights off…. MORON” MUAHAHAHAHAHA !!!
Oh my hodge-podginess !!! I have a crazy monster in my head – or is it under my bed??
All righty! It’s about time I put work on the back burner for good and get back to having a life (even if it’s just my month old blogging life) – just kidding with the back burner bit; I need my job so that I can fund my eternal quest for the perfect belgian waffle 😛 I can be a clown considering all the crazy juggling I do, nonetheless, I turn my eyes from the blog for a bit and wham ! I receive nominations from two perfectly awe-inducing bloggers Carter Vail and alexdoesstuffsometimes for two awards!!
My first thought was that it must be some kind of a joke, but then curiosity got better of me and I decided to take the matter in my hands. As I browsed through blog post after blog post on the award, I realised that the awards that I’ve been nominated for are the real deal – One lovely blog award and Liebster Award!! Once my little brain had digested the enormous fact, I felt the swell rising inside me. Heck, I felt like John O’keefe – or not – okay maybe a broke John O’keefe. And my curiosity piqued again – why in the world would someone
sane nominate my blog, its only a month old (to be honest, I wasn’t even sure anyone would read my blog when I started)? But the swell got better of me. So while my brain farts and the happy ballooning played tug of war inside of my insane head, I decided to complete the requirements of the award. In all the confusion that ensued, I ended with this mash up of a post!
First of all, really like to thank both Carter Vail and alexdoesstuffsometimes for the nomination – there wouldn’t have been a happy-inflated-gas-balloon-of-a-me had it not been for the two of you! I’m a hot air balloon in the sky !!
Now on to the rules of the two awards (*pulls hair out* *stresses about getting everything correct*) which are to be followed to the T if I am to accept the award. * starry daydreams of being on stage bowing to an applauding audience*
I’ll start with the One Lovely Blog Award first since it was the first nomination I received. The nominees for this award are chosen by fellow bloggers with the aim to recognise new or up-coming bloggers and to help them reach more viewers. It acknowledges bloggers who share their story or thoughts in a beautiful manner to connect with their viewers and followers ( Or so I read – okay , so I tried to do my homework :P) – Beautiful thoughts-who? Me, really??
1. Thank the person(s) who nominated you for the award and link back to them in your post:
I’ve already done that but to be honest Carter Vail and alexdoesstuffsometimes I cannot thank you enough for the encouragement that you guys have given me through this nomination! It means a lot especially since I am always awestruck every time I visit your blogs. So once again – thank you !! You guy’s rock – and so do your blogs !!
2. Add one lovely blog award logo to your post – Done !!
3. Share 7 facts about yourself – uh oh – this is a difficult one but I’ll still give it a shot:
4. Nominate 15 bloggers you admire and inform the nominees by commenting on their blog: I am not sure if I have exactly 15, but below are the blog(gers) who I feel deserve the award.
Phew ! Now onto the Liebster award !!! And the nominees are * drumroll*
Yes that’s true !! You guys are fantastic and deserve both of the awards!
The rules for the Liebster award are as follows:
And my 11 questions are :
Allright guys , its your turn to carry the torch now ! looking forward to your responses ! Enjoy the glory – you deserve it !
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